What’s Next? Job Search Questions for Balancing Being

Take a journey to Re(de)fine what balance, harmony, and thriving mean to you - TODAY.

Many of you are going through huge transitions because you or your adulting partner has lost a job unexpectedly. For many of you, these layoffs are creating an extremely difficult set of circumstances in your for you to navigate. For some of you, though, these layoffs have been a blessed wake up call

to seek more intentional alignment between your Business of Work and your Business of Life,

and to figure out how to balance your overall well being. For all of you in job or career transition, I have been where you are. I have asked the questions you are asking.

What should I do now?

What can I do now?

What do I need?

What do I want???

If you haven’t gotten to that phase yet, THAT’S OKAY.

For now, allow yourself to GRIEVE. Grief has stages, and they don’t always announce themselves. Take the time you need.

Once you are ready to start working through your process of transitioning to the next job, opportunity, or career, I’d like to offer some tips. Embarking on a job search can be a challenging process, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

To help you navigate this process, I have compiled a list of questions for you to consider. These questions are designed to encourage you to tap into both your intellect and your intuition, allowing you to make informed decisions while also honoring your emotions.

Yep, that's right. I am going to ask you to consult your feelings as part of this process, and allow your emotions to have a bit more agency and influence.

Sure, feelings may not be facts, but they are real.

Your feelings will demand your attention at some point, so we might as well design them in.

This resource is not intended to be a comprehensive list, but I believe it will create the beginning of a more comprehensive and holistic view than I typically hear from job seekers. Please utilize what resonates with you and leave the rest. Add your own important considerations as well.

Most importantly, create some sacred, uninterrupted space to reflect on these questions and answer them honestly.

Then, consider discussing your answers with trusted individuals such as your adulting partner(s), coaches, therapists, financial advisors, or spiritual advisors. These individuals can offer valuable insights and support as you make decisions that will shape your future.

Remember, the job search process is not just about finding a source of income, but also about creating a life that aligns with your values, passions, and goals.

By being intentional and thoughtful in your approach, you can set yourself up for success and find a fulfilling career that brings you joy and satisfaction.

Sign up below to get access to Job Search Questions for Balancing Being.

Best of luck and be well! 💛 CKO

*Transparency Note: adding your information below DOES NOT set you up for a series of marketing emails. You have the option to opt-in for news and updates if you choose.

Finding the Magic in the Mess

Focusing on one thing at a time is a challenge, but it is imperative when there are a lot of things competing for your attention. There will ALWAYS be a lot of things competing for your attention. When you are in the middle of the mess, you often miss the magic.

Focus is a key component to finding the magic in the mess.

A while back, I wrote this note to myself: ONE thing at a time with FAITH and INTENTION.

At the time, my mind was everywhere, more so than usual. I was experiencing so much change. So much goodness and new possibility, and also so much grief and pain. I knew I needed to do something differently. I wanted to do so many things differently. I wanted to start them all now and have finished most of them yesterday (know anyone that can relate??)! But, when I gave myself a moment to listen to the wisdom around me, my inner voice, and my God… it all pointed to LESS. 

“I wanted to start them all now and have finished most of them yesterday!”

It can be a monumental challenge for some of us to focus on one thing at a time (especially ADHD & neurodivergent identifying folks like myself). We fight it. We believe it can’t be done. Or worse, we believe it SHOULDN’T be done. 

Most of us know by now that multitasking is not effective, yet we keep trying. Why? 

The answer to this will be different for everyone. There are many factors that are overlapped and intertwined for each of us humxns.

For me it was the ingrained hustle culture, a lack of clarity, and a lack of faith that one thing at a time can be a recipe for success (no matter who’s definition of success I was using). It was personal, it was cultural, and it was systemic.

I have worked my tail off to untangle all the confusion I have been experiencing surrounding this life I have, and the life I want to create. My work, my impact, my legacy, my WHY. Guess what, there are a lot of strings to untangle. I am not finished, but I am finally enjoying the process.

Just like untangling a mess of real strings, it’s best to focus on one at a time. Often we will try to get away with working on a few at a time, then we cause a new tangle and our prior progress is thwarted. 

Can you see the mess?

Can you feel the frustration?

One thing I am proud to name and claim about myself is that I have always been comfortable asking for help, though perhaps not always in the most timely manner. While I may carry shame about other things, getting help has never been one of them. I sat here with my tangled mess of strings trying to figure so much out on my own for a while (probably too long), and then I started asking for and accepting help. I’ve enlisted friends, family, colleagues, therapists, and coaches. I allowed them to be on this journey with me. I allowed them to provide their support in the ways they could.

Was I afraid sometimes. YES
Was I hesitant sometimes. YES
Was I skeptical sometimes. YES
Was I downright resistant and contrarian sometimes. YES

Am I all of this STILL sometimes. ABSOLUTELY YES!

Ultimately, though, I started to trust myself and my community, and I listened to the call for focus. I was also very lucky because I knew the magic was in there. I could FEEL it. When I allowed myself to get out of my head for a bit and to reengage my intuition and my creativity in a new a more vibrant way, I started to KNOW it. As I started to fortify my knowing, my village started to be able to reflect it all back to me. Then I could SEE it again.
Other folks started to see it, too.

This type of evolution is not a fast process. There are NO QUICK FIXES. Occasionally we have to double back to reassess things we thought were “handled.” (Still visualizing that ball of tangled string?).
When you’ve got a partner helping you build and direct your focus, however, your capacity to manage more grows. Note that no one has FIXED the mess. We’ve just worked together to illuminate the magic within… Just enough to spark renewed energy for the process. Once I realized fixing it was not the ultimate goal, I could get on with the business of focusing.

Tangled, messy, and still glowing

I know I can be an anomaly, though. I have so much gratitude for each assist on my journey. Still, I know that it can be challenging and often downright painful for some folks to seek or accept help, for things big and small. It often takes us a little while to realize that things have gotten a bit more complicated and we are at the edges of our current capacity. Other times, though, we experience such a pressing discontent with the current course of action that it can no longer be tolerated. At some point or another, we know some sort of new perspective or new energy is imperative.

“ I knew the magic was in there. I could FEEL it. ”

Are you sensing a shift?
Are you searching for more clarity?
Are you feeling like you are tangled up and can’t figure out which strings to pull next? 
Are you trying to fix all the things and pursue all the options and finding yourself running in circles and exhausted?

I am here to tell you there IS magic in the mess, but you have to thoughtfully and carefully engage with the mess to get to the magic. 

Focus is a key component to finding the magic in the mess.
Accepting an assist can increase your capacity and make the process more enjoyable.

The world is waiting for what you’ve got to offer.

Perhaps Forest Moonlight can provide just the assist you need to gain more clarity, make more impact, and spark new energy for the process ahead. If you think you or your team might benefit from a partner to help guide your hand and steady your resolve, let’s talk.

Until then, Be Well!

💛CKO

Bravery

"He told them that they must live their most creative lives as a means of fighting back against the ruthless furnace of this world.

Most of all, though, he asked his students to be brave. Without bravery, he instructed, they would never be able to realize the vaulting scope of their own capacities.

Without bravery, their lives would remain small - far smaller than they probably wanted their lives to be.”

 ~Jack Gilbert via Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic

This time last year, I was preparing myself to attend a retreat. Truth be told, it was the first time I had ever signed up for a multi-day retreat with strangers (at 39 years old, an avid traveler, and a huge extrovert, this was mind boggling even to me). I had been dreaming of retreats. I was also still feeling extreme burnout. I sought out some recommendations, and I ultimately I signed myself up to go stay on the beautiful Oregon Coast in a shared space with 8 people I had never met. Since I had a very high recommendation of the retreat and the host from a dear friend, there were no fears or nerves. COVID protocols were followed, and my friend had a very high bar. The experience turned out to be one of the most nourishing and transformative of my life on many levels.

During this retreat, I discovered the book Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear written by Elizabeth Gilbert (I am just now realizing how fitting it was that I found a book by the author of Eat, Pray, Love on my first ever retreat). I borrowed it to read during breaks and at night. I became so enamored with the parallels of what was stirring in my own head that I excitedly shared ah-ha moments and insights with the retreat host. The day we left, she wrote a personal message inside and gave me the book as a gift. The Jack Gilbert quote above is the one I come back to over and over again. In particular, this:

“Without bravery, he instructed, they would never be able to realize the vaulting scope of their own capacities.”

When I read that, I am pretty sure I shouted “YESSSSS!” – hands up, Oprah style.

This was the message my body and my soul had been SHOUTING at me, through pain, through stress, through career disappointments and financial stress. There were now words to accompany these sensations.

Many people in my life have told me that I am brave, or that I have courage. Sure, I definitely needed courage to take a mental health leave of absence from work (pre-pandemic, before more widespread acceptance and acknowledgment of the necessity). I do tend to ask the important questions others seem reluctant to ask. So, in a few select instances I could agree and graciously accept the compliment, knowing that I may have given someone else the courage to do a hard thing or take on a challenge. More often, however, like a true sufferer of imposter syndrome I felt like a complete fraud. In actuality, every day I was feeling less and less brave or courageous. I knew I was not fulfilling my purpose or mission in life. In many ways I was simply following protocol…

Get good grades > attend competitive college > 2 degrees for good measure > great job at well known company > prestigious graduate school > 2 more degrees for proof I was good enough > good job at well known company > House + Husband + Dog + Subaru (‘cuz PNW)

Looks great, right? How could I POSSIBLY feel like my life felt smaller than I wanted it to be.

Turns out, I had an inner knowing that “protocol” was not supposed to be MY path. I completely internalized the mantra that Black Americans must work twice as hard to get half as far, and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Before outrage occurs let me be clear, I do believe the phrase to still be fact in America in 2023 because of overwhelming and long standing systems of oppression. I also believe that there are many more folks in the United States and globally that have worked hard to be among the financially wealthy and privileged because we did not have the privilege of creating our own protocol. But that is changing.

Turns out, I am more creative and creator than maintainer, and my path had always slightly deviated from protocol. I finally realized I would need to truly tap into my bravery and my faith. I knew I had capacity to live and give more abundantly if I could step more courageously toward the pulling of my purpose.

Do you have an inner knowing? Is there a message from God or another deity, or the universe, or astrologers, or some signs from your spirit guides, or maybe a handful of concrete data that says “nope, this is NOT the totality of your impact and purpose on this planet”?

Do you have the Made for TV guy in your ear saying “but wait, there’s more!”

Be still. Listen.

Do you know anyone who has been following protocol only to feel completely unfulfilled?

Someone who feels stuck because they do not know how to navigate away from protocol? Or someone who maybe never had the opportunity to imagine the scope of their own capacity?

I believe there are a lot of us who are brave enough to act on the belief that we can live and give more abundantly. Let’s do this together.

Send me an email or leave a comment. I love to receive your thoughts. Let’s have a conversation.

Be well,
💛 CKO

Let’s get ready to roll.

Imagine for a moment that you or a loved one has just received a shiny new bike. It is the perfect size, the perfect color, and it’s all tuned up and ready to go. It is a VERY NICE BIKE. Generally, when out in the world being the bike it was made to be, it is moving without flaws or much unnecessary friction. Sometimes, it might be appropriate to get a lock for that new, shiny bike during the times it is still or being stored.

The lock is simply a tool. A small, quick combo lock might do the job. Occasionally a stronger, more sturdy lock might be necessary.  Perhaps you end up acquiring a few locks to use for different scenarios. Maybe you only have the one mega strong, ultra complex lock that you tote around no matter what the situation.

That mega strong bike lock is AWESOME for those times the bike is in the midst of chaos. Or maybe, when there are so many of the same bikes around you rely on that lock to identify YOUR bike. If you lose the key or the combination, well shucks, now that bike is stuck. Yes, it is still safe, but it is now an exhibit and on exhibition. It is not doing the thing it was meant to do - to bring joy, excitement, recreation, exercise, adventure, life. TO ROLL! How incredibly frustrating that would be!

Fears and “shoulds” can be just like the mega strong, ultra complex bike locks of our lives. They also exist to protect something valuable - you. Their jobs are to protect you from the dangers of pain - real or imagined, imminent or not. When working properly, they often DO keep you safe. When they are malfunctioning or over functioning, however, fears and shoulds can end up being major impediments to the joyful functioning of your life that they were meant to protect in the first place.

We can learn what kind of locks we are carrying around with us. We do not necessarily have to fully understand every which way they work, but we would benefit greatly by learning which keys and codes unlock our particular fears and shoulds. Once we do that, we can then learn to take them with us without much unnecessary friction. We can utilize them more effectively when we need to be kept safe, and unlock them when we are ready to roll.

Do you have some locks that are keeping you on exhibition instead of adventuring through life joyfully? There are many resources available. My primary suggestion will always be to explore healing with some form of licensed practitioner. Discussing therapy can be such a challenging topic for so many, especially in certain cultures. I have benefitted greatly from getting past the stigma of therapy and investing into the time and process supported by a clinical therapist (find one in your area). I have also personally benefitted from amazing leaders, coaches, and facilitators that guided me in the process of unlocking my ideas and talents. I have NEVER been able to level-up alone. Most, if not all, of the most accomplished people in every field, sport, or profession have had help learning how to manage their locks and level-up. What about YOU?

Are you considering your next adventure or your next level? Are you ready to get unlocked? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with me if you are interested in going deeper on this together.

Let’s get ready to roll! I hope to see you out there!

💛 CKO

Breaking Trail

This year, one of my declarations was that I would become a well-read entrepreneur and thought leader. In order to support this declaration, I committed to the practice of reading one book at a time (actual reading - audio books are in a separate category. We can debate this another time). I give myself a chapter or two to decide if the content is speaking to me. Then, I either intentionally put it aside for another time, or commit to finishing the book. As of this post, I have completed 3 full books (one of which was on the verge of the parking lot almost every chapter)! I have always loved reading, but I am a slow reader and am used to being engaged with multiple books at a time (ADHD at work). I have not yet developed a strong, non-negotiable reading habit, but this practice has been amazingly fruitful. The first book I completed in 2023 was Breaking Trail - A Climbing Life, written by Arlene Blum. This post is not meant to be a book review, but I wanted to share a bit about the insights I gained, and the creativity that it sparked.

My husband is an outdoor enthusiast and loves anything related to climbing. This was a borrowed book from him. It sparked my interest because it was written by a woman who “defied the climbing establishment of the 1970’s by leading the first all-female teams on successful ascents of Mt. McKinley and Annapurna, and was the first American woman to attempt Mt. Everest. At the same time, her groundbreaking scientific work challenged gender stereotypes in the academic community.” I know very little about climbing, and I am not a scientist, but this book spoke to me in so many ways. It helped me think about commitment and service in a more holistic way. It also helped me think more deeply about the importance of planning and preparation, not just to achieve your goals and dreams, but to enable the breaking of barriers that lead to a legacy and a fulfilled life.

I have been through a myriad of struggles in the last few years, both personally and in my marriage. We embrace the reality of it all now because we know we are commited to doing the work, and that rainbows are coming. Anyone that has a relationship with any other humxn knows that sometimes you just aren’t able to speak the same language. Being commited to finishing this book and making space for the insights gave me some language to connect more deeply with my partner. I wrote the poem below for my husband and me, and want to share it with you now as a guide to expanding your capacity to Be Well, Do Well, and Do More Good.

This year, we must embody experienced alpine climbers
Gather good beta
Make plans
Take “reasonable” risks
Make solid decisions - individually and as a team
Take action calmly and swiftly
Step - Breathe
Step - Breathe
Step - Breathe
Celebrate with chocolate

This one is dedicated to my loving husband, and gifted to all of you that are feeling that you might be ready to break some trail. Set your own declarations and share them with me. Reach out if you want an accountability partner.

Be Well!

💛 CKO

Accept the Exceptional

In order to embrace how wonderfully exceptional you are, you first must accept how beautifully different you are. You must accept your unique skills, experiences, gifts, knowledge, and beliefs - and then let them loose in the world. Only then can you manifest what was intended for your life, your journey, your balm to a needy soul. Your gifts, your mind, your service are EXCEPTIONAL. Give them fully to the world.

Give yourself
Grounded flow
Anchored intentions
Rooted movement
Toward harmony

💛 CKO

What is Holistic Wealth & Wellness?

Over the past several years, I have undergone significant life transformations - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, professionally, and financially. It has been quite an adventure. During that time, I have been doing a lot of reflection and research. I have learned a lot, and I am ready and able to share so much of what I have learned.

It is 2023. Have you noticed that the entire planet is quite literally amid burnout?

For those of us that live in a world of capitalism, the pull to be driven and productive is ever present. Since the Industrial Revolution, Western cultures and economic systems have primarily focused on profits and productivity. Process excellence is now looked upon more as an outcome instead of an enabler to better results; Productivity has become a measure of performance; Efficiency gets confused with proficiency; Sufficiency is no longer sufficient.

The idea of “wealth” has become so narrow in our culture. When folks talk about building wealth, they typically refer to financial wealth. Yet, many of us know deep in our bones and in our souls that this is not our holistic definition of wealth. There is so much more to being a wealthy humxn. Occasionally in Western cultures, one might hear the phrase “health equals wealth,” but the idea is often met with cynicism. There is also a saying that “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” but how many of us feel like we have the time or money for an ounce of prevention?

Busyness has become a currency and a proxy for worthiness and value. Like so many others, my pursuit of worthiness and value ultimately made me so busy that I burnt out. Upon reflection, I must admit I contributed to the problem and hope to become part of the transformation. I fundamentally believe that holistic wellness leads to holistic success. 

I no longer agree that keeping busy is the primary way to make impact. I now understand that building a profoundly impactful, financially wealthy, and holistically successful life can happen with a more holistic approach that does not diminish health and wellness.

Holistic Wealth & Wellness prevails when humxns and organizations do the work to bring clarity and alignment across their vision, intention, strategy, and actions.

In this fast-paced world, I believe we need more stewards of careful curation. I now help people and organizations to re(de)fine wealth and wellness - holistically and practically - to create more harmony across work and life. Once this harmony is created, they can Be Well, Do Well, and Do More Good.